Dream Job Blog

The stories we tell ourselves

The job search is not for the weary. There are so many ups and downs throughout the journey. The downs are the worst: immediate rejection after submitting an application to a job you know you are perfect for, ghosted after a good phone screen and/or fumbling through an interview you thoroughly prepped for.

It’s so easy to get into a negative mind space and go down a rabbit hole. Berating yourself for making mistakes. Listing reasons for not getting a call—focusing on what you’re lacking or your weaknesses. There are moments when you feel like you’ll never find a decent job and want to give up hope.

Do you get stuck in telling yourself negative stories? Are you making up reasons why things aren’t going your way? It’s an easy trap to get stuck in.

The reality is—we all mistakes, we all fail and we all have moments of self-pity. And you know what I say to that? Fantastic! These are valuable experiences because they help us learn and grow. They also give us perspective and help us appreciate successes at a deeper level.

The best advice that I heed and share is:

Embrace the negative feelings wholly

Wallow in self-pity and grief. Depriving yourself of this feeling (if you’re trying to adopt a positive or growth mindset) is not helpful. But neither is getting stuck. Dedicate time to feel anything you want AND set a limit. Set a timer for 5, 15, 60 minutes. And really feel. Write down your feelings, say them aloud—let them out. And then the timer ends, move on.

Be kind to yourself

Think about a friend who’s shared a challenging experience. I imagine you didn’t stop them midstream and tell them to suck it up, right? I’m sure you listened, empathized and focused on their strengths. Have you ever done this for yourself? If not, it’s a great time to start! You should literally write about your great experiences, biggest accomplishments, top attributes. Realize how amazing you are

Make changes

If you’re frustrated because you’re not getting traction or the offers you want, then change your strategy and tactics. It’s crazy to expect a different result when doing the same thing over and over again. The most successful people evolve in every aspect of their life. They understand that what got them to their initial goal, will not be the same to propel them to the next level.

And remember this, when your thoughts are mostly negative, bad things will continue to appear in your life. When you think about the good things and are appreciative of what you have—big and small—good things happen.

Are you ready to apply new strategies and tactics to your job search? And have the support you need throughout your journey? If so, watch our video, answer a short survey and then select a time that you’d like to meet with us. We’d love to help you find a job you’ll love!

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